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The Fairy Tale that Never Was… : Searching for Mr. Right/Mrs. Right

Note dari tetangga sebelah, penting utk diselami. Moga bermanfaat

Hollywood is full of love stories in nearly every film. Love stories that are about finding the right person, and after that, it’s smooth sailing. Love is beautiful. Love feels amazing. Love, however, is not something that just happens. It never has been, and it never will be. That part of the fairytale is an absolute lie.

Yes, a lie.

Falling “in love” exists, but what we need to in cover here is the difference between feelings of love, and true love itself.

Real love is an action, and real love is developed and maintained by consistent actions and effort.

Real love can only exist when then the “in love” feeling begins to fade away. Absolutely, hands down, it will fade away.

Your feelings will change.

Not knowing this simple fact right here is leading many Muslim couples to divorce.

One day, you will wake up, and look at the person next to you and wonder if you made the right choice. Believe it or not, this is normal.

And chances are you didn’t make the wrong choice. It’s just that the in-love feelings are beginning to fade. The rose colored glasses are beginning to become clear, and you now very clearly see you married someone who is very much human. You married a man who has flaws, weaknesses, needs, and makes mistakes. You may begin to discover that you don’t seem to agree on anything anymore, that you have different preferences, and that things don’t feel as fun these days.

I know what you are thinking. “That won’t happen to me because…”

Because you will defy the laws of true love? You can, and you will find yourself feeling very much unloved.

Here is what is great about what I am telling you. When the lovey-dovey feelings begin to fade away, the opportunity for tremendous growth becomes available to you and your marriage.

Real life begins, and alhamdulellah for this. Remember, that marriage is not an end goal in and of itself, but rather a means to get you closer to Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala. One must assume that this person who is to become one of the most significant people in your life is going to be here to test you as well.

Tests are given to us to reveal the true nature of our hearts. So with a kind and loving husband, you are being tested in your consistency to be grateful, pleasant, and your willingness to sacrifice in return. In moments where your husband and you feel like you are on opposite side of a valley you are being tested in your patience, willingness to put your ego down and work through a challenge in the best of manners.

In all circumstances there is an opportunity before you.

The reality, however, is that many people are not prepared for these opportunities. When they arrive they begin to think their fairytale is actually a nightmare, and they are in the wrong role.

Fairytales lead us into a world of beauty, where love conquers all. Fairy tales, aren’t just the stories we read or watched as children. They are the magazines, the love songs, the movies, and the buzz that fills our minds and hearts on a daily basis. The problem with all of these sources is that they severely lack depth.

The human experience is a complicated one. One day we feel happy, the next down in the doldrums. One week the world is beautiful, the following, the world seems a dark and frightening place to be. One day your husband is Mr. Perfect, the next day an insensible jerk (even if you feel it for 10 minutes only!)

Nothing in this life is constant but change.

When you look for a husband, I am not telling you that the beautiful fairytale introduction to your life together is impossible. What I am asking you to understand, is that happily ever after simply seemed the fastest way to end the fairy tale before the author had to write a 9 part epic into their marital life.

If you are ready to accept that “happily ever after,” is a long phrase that translates to “and they worked day and night at building an awesome marriage and partnership, weathering the storms of life, each others weirdness and quirks, and did this until they day they died," then you are mentally ready for your own version of the fairytale.

saya ambil dari catatan Fb dosen,, semoga bermanfaat

aku juga mau curhattt ! ! ! ! ! ! !

ini cerita kemarin,

sore hari selesai mandi selesai sholat ashar ada SMS masuk "P'aji teng pundi? Buber yuh". ternyata SMS jawaban ajakan SMS yang kemarin. langsung nglongok ke pintu depan. dimana orangnya?, ternyata jauh diseberang jalan, dan yang unik naik sepeda ontel, di luar banyangan banget. oke, langsung sepeda ontel dimasukan ganti dengan sepeda motor. waktu tidak lama tinggal 6 menit lagi adzan maghrib. jalan pelan masih di deret jalan depan kantor, nengok satu waroeng rame banget, jalan kedepan bentar langsung nunjuk Es Klapa.

berhenti, langsung pesen dua es klapa gula merah. sempet kepikiran apa nanti bisa habis. cz ada ibu bapak dan anaknya hanya pesan satu untuk bertiga. ini satu cewe satu cowo pesen dua es klapa barti satu orang satu buah klapa bulat. selang tak lama adzan berkumandang tapi es klapa gula merah belum datang. baru setelah di tegur, om penjual langsung siksa itu klapa muda sedemikian rupa sehingga siap diminum.

sedooooott ,,ah hilang semua dahaga. alhamdulillah. sambil terus menghabiskan es klapa gula merah mulutnya tidak berhenti bercerita tentang para nominasi yang masuk di hatinya. langsung saja dalam hati ikut komat-kamit "ah teganya aku nda masuk nominasinya". langsung berusaha menata hati agar tidak pecah, hancur seperti nasib klapa muda didepanku.

lepas dari cerita nominasi, sekarang masuk ke para eliminated. para mantan yang tragis, dari delapan mantan yang ada baru kelar di ceritakan lima. semua nasibnya mirip. kalau tidak salah yang pertama hanya 1 minggu jalan, yang kedua 2 minggu jalan, yang ketiga 3 minggu jalan, yang keempat 3 hari jalan dan yang terakhir diceritakan hanya 1 hari jalan. semua bisa dianggap sangat tragis. mungkin yang tiga terakhir sama saja.

tapi walau begitu semua ceritanya sangat aku perhatikan, karena sebagai investasi hati. lumayan dapat informasi langsung dari orang yang perlu digali informasinya. menjadi lebih dekat itu harapannya. jika diijinkan untuk memohon aku akan mohon "ijinkan aku mengenalmu lebih dekat lagi dan sudikan dirimu mengenalku lebih dari sekarang". mungkin besok aku akan meminta hal itu. secepatnya

tapi kemarin juga sempat merasa tertampar pelak saat dia ngomong "kalo aku pacaran dengan seorang pria seumuran pasti tidak akan baik, karena jelas pasti prianya keteteran ngadepi aku." yahh aku ma dia beda bulan lahir tok.

inti dari sore di kedai es klapa muda gula merah kursi panjang tepi gang dengan mobil muatan klapa muda di badan gang, jalan sempit lalulalang motor penghuni gang adalah curhatan dari seorang wanita yang kita suka kita sayang kita cinta tentang orang-orang yang masuk dihatinya dan aku belum ada dalam hatinya. ada rasa sakit dalam hati [sedikit, karena aku tidak mau menyakitinya].

p'aji sedang nyari seseorang yang mau p'aji ajak ke hubungan yang lebih serius, p'aji sedang tidak nyari pacar untuk main-main, bukan fren-luv-ex tapi fren-luv-friendship,

apa ayu mau mengenal p'aji lebih dekat dari sekarang dan mengijinkan p'aji mengenal ayu lebih dekat lagi??